MAIL ME: Inspiration

-----ORIGINAL MESSAGE------
Name: Roy Clark
Subject: Guiness Records
Message: I would like to first say how estatic I am with how incredible you are. I mean, as a child I always thought that it would be amazing to own a record. Whether it be longest jump on a bike or most back flips in a minute.

But you totally set the standards of what people could attempt to do for a record. I mean, how many people can say that they could suck 129 dicks in the matter of 5 hours? No one. well no one besides you. It's a pretty staggering thing. And messy at the same time. And how many people can say that they are as giving as you.

My girlfriend hates giving me one for my birthday; let alone 129 to strangers. Although STD's are pretty common the art of "giving" is pretty common as well. It must be pretty sad knowing that your penis will never be used by a girl (other than your mother). And that the size of it is considered by most as being, "tiny" But hey, with gay looks like yours. Who could resist a bent weiner such as yours?

Well continue blowing homeless men and double-teaming stray dogs on your spare time for personal enjoyment.

-----------RESPONSE-----------

I'm just glad I could inspire someone. As someone living with a disability (a small, bent wiener), I have to do that much more to accomplish even simple tasks like flipping light switches with my boner. I have to angle myself quite oddly given the minuscule size of my weiner and the odd angle it bends at.

To know that we can still inspire those even less fortunate than us - people like you - is an honor. Keep working, Roy. I bet you might even break that record! Life is short - squeeze the joy out of it like a sweet tangerine.